Retaining a strong emotional connection to things that remind you of a period of time that you can no longer hold on is uncomfortable, and sometimes unbearable. Similarly, trying to remain the same person after going through a ground-shaking tragedy is like piecing together a broken eggshell. For the longest time I didn’t want to leave Canada because it was the new life I chose for myself, and now it was the best I had. I kept investing in the present and in changing myself so that I move on to better thing, but the truth about the events which took place in my family never stopped hunting me and the more I resisted the memory the more it permeated every corner of my existence. Right now t’s April 2011, nearly 4 years since I moved to Canada as a student. Today I bought a ticket back home and although the perspective of facing the ghosts of the past terrifies me, I believe I can overcome.
may my heart always be open to little / birds who are the secrets of living - E. E. Cummings 